The Host Syndrome

So it was my birthday last week! I’m now 24, and I have to say I actually feel older.  Even though I would consider myself an introvert and I don’t like to be the center of attention, I enjoy having a day that’s all about how I want to enjoy it.
But every year, I simultaneously dread the celebration, because I get a bad case of ‘The Host Syndrome’ – the stress you feel about having guests and keeping them entertained.

But is that really a thing or is it just me?

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On Redrawing And Progress

This was an “art” piece I did in August of this year. It was one of the first times, my personal style really started to shape itself and I was indeed proud. But now I feel like I can do it better with my left hand:

Bildschirmfoto 2017-11-08 um 08.46.18

Okay, probably i wouldn’t be able to draw that with my left hand even though i am ambidextrous, but my right hand has much more training. Still this drawing has an abundance of flaws and is generally not catered to my personal preferences and tools that work well with me but it wasn’t a long worked out sketch and I sketched a lot after, so I became better and better and eventually created this:

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On Having Pointless High Expectations For Yourself

I had to take a break just now because other work overwhelmed me and it’s my birthday the day after tomorrow and I have to prepare for that.
Also, I started to have too high expectations for my blog entries, never being satisfied with the marketability, length or aesthetic fit of my ideas. But that’s what makes me hit a dead end in creativity. I have to just MAKE stuff, not think about the outcome.
This is what I’m doing now, so here is some stuff to do, when you feel stressed out constantly:

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Hearts of Stone Art and Story

I painted this Mixed Media piece of Iris van Everec for a school exhibition. I chose Iris because I just watched a lot of Witcher 3 deep lore videos on Hearts of Stone and I love the spooky theme and the keys are absolutely perfect. So because it’s Halloween and I want to tell you a spooky tale, I’m gonna retell the tragic yet oddly beautiful story that sets off the events from The Witcher 3 Hearts of Stone.

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30 Days of Blogging Challenge

In the past I’ve had projects. And not just a few. I had visions of creating my very own content but I always limited myself to one outlet, one product. Because I thought that’s what you have to do. To be a good brand, you know?

I have a semi successful art related instagram, and I worked art commissions for a bit but it doesn’t fulfill me, it doesn’t make me happy to “just” draw. I want to do everything, I want to tell stories, sketch, edit .. I just want to create.

So that’s what I will do. I will create something for 30 days. Just basically everything allowed. So it’s easy enough for me.

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Hey Friends!

It’s me.

And I feel like beginnings are hard.

Now that’s probably a stereotypical thing to say but I feel it’s correct for every new project. Recently I spent some time with myself and I found out that I enjoy writing quite a lot actually. Well, I kind of always used to write, starting when I was only 4 years old but I never thought it makes sense in a creative way.

I never saw myself as a destined author or a storyteller of fantastic tales, probably because of the same old ‘not good enough’ thought. But who says I have to think up an entire fictional world to write? (Probably me, because I love those)

Writing flows easy for me, like a peaceful stream on a summer night. I don’t have to think about it long and hard or concentrate on every single line like how it is with other creative things for me. It feels natural.

Weirdly though, I haven’t been much of a reader lately even though I love stories. It eludes me, what the actual problem is. I feel it’s because it takes up too much time that I’d rather spend “productive”.

Speaking of productive – how do you like this new thing I made?

I have a big vision (as I often do) with it and I feel good pursuing it.